hydewonderland

Throughout the 14-hour flight from SF to home I told myself that there should be no more tears.  And I kept my promise.  For ten months I have not shed a tear, not even when I was under great stress. But I could not keep my emotions at bay some days ago when I read this-

“In 1942 and 1948 I had been disquieted by but mercifully only half aware of the gravity of my father's illness.  I had no comprehension of the facts of death, nor even of prolonged, debilitating physical illness then…Now I was able in a series of imagined flashes to see his body being taken over by a dreadful, creeping invasion of malignant cells, his organs slowly devoured, his brain, eyes, ears and throat torn asunder by this dreadful, almost miasmic, affliction. It was as if the carefully constructed supports maintaining and noourishing my life were being suddenly knocked away, leaving me standing in a dark void…What would happen to me without him?…”

Edward Said's recount of his father's illness has caught off my balance.  And the word ' creeping' kept swirling in my head.  And I ask God for his mercy not to let the creeping cells take her away.

Richard Hillary's housemaster wrote: 'He seemed to dislike the conventional views of things, often merely because they were conventional …He liked shocking people in a mild way.' He was inclined to argue and strike attitudes, but he never had the intellectual curiosity or perhaps the capacity to develop coherent alternatives to the conventions he opposed.

I was simply bewildered by the striking assemblance between RH and some of the rising stars in among our generations, including the next to be President Ombama.  But still, RH knows how to steer his Spitfire, does President have any clue about the vehicle he's steering?  

我就是喜歡雷聲轟轟，滂沱大雨的夜晚。感覺何其不真實，卻又何其真實。一向睡得沉穩，月來卻常給雷聲吵醒，半夜游移於確實與虛無之間，竟覺得比日間混混沌沌的過得要快活。

捧一本好書、為蜷縮我腳邊的狗兒掃掃背、給媽媽準備一桌健康的好菜，似乎已經成為我生活中最大的安慰。

人生，也許不過是捨得二字。

I gave my fd a piece of very very important advice last nite.

Not sure if it's right to do such thing.

But on reflection, I know I did the right thing.

We could make mistakes. But we can't shy away from their consequences, be they gd or not.

古來隱士身沒山林，卻能長留史冊，也許是因為他們懂得生命，終究是一春幽夢，飄落綠萍間，就散了、幻滅了。對生命的本象的體悟讓這些一生經風抵雨的人間遊子知道適時進退，免去那許許多多的折騰。

「行於所當行，止於不可不止」這句話，自九死南荒、茲遊奇絕的蘇軾的口中一吐，當然具有無比的說服力。連才氣天縱的蘇軾也必須接受人生有不能不止的限制，那末一般平凡的我們，就更必須安然面對一道又一道無法穿越的屏障。一生漂泊風塵，離散不斷的蘇軾，以自身的練歷為後世人鋪置了一條通往綠竹茂林的徑。當修到了「行於所當行，止於不可不止」的境界，桃花源就在眼前了。

報紙話如果利記今晚輸俾馬賽歐聯出局既話，賓尼迪斯就會立即被炒，由奇連士文頂上。咁點呢? 點算好呢? 我仲應唔應該希望佢地今晚做低馬賽呢? 奇連士文+利物浦……，係發夢都冇諗過既夢幻組合……咁點呀???????